COOKING CORRESPONDENCE


Have any of you married folks (or not) come home and found your spouse (or mate) mad as a hornet. Have you ever been curious as to how other partners are treated at dinnertime?

Q: When’s dinner honey?
A: I just finished boiling the potatoes. Why don’t you sit on them so I don’t have to mash
them.

Q: I am dog-tired! What a day I had! What’s for dinner?
A: Wait till I put the soup on the table, then you can fall face forward and drown yourself!

Q: What are we havin’ for dinner?
A: I just took the fish out of the oven. You can fillet it yourself!

Did you know that the food you’re served has hidden messages?

Q: What’s the matter honey?
A: Slams the alphabet soup on the table and hisses, “Do you want me to spell it out for
you?”

Q: What are we having for dinner tonight?
A: Hamburgers because you’re chopped meat. Mashed potatoes because I feel like
smashing your face.  String beans because I’m gonna string you up.  And a nice
big salad because you need brain surgery.
Q: What’s for dessert?
A: A glass of milk because I’m gonna milk you and crumb cake because you’re such a
crumb.

Q: Whatr we having tonight?
A: Stew, because you messed up everything!

Q:  My dear, are we to dine soon?  I’m famished.                                                                      A:  Well, sweetheart, because you were such a cold fish last night, we’re having
yesterday’s bouillabaisse.  For dessert, you can go stough your pipe and smoke
it.

Q: Everything smells so good! What are you cooking?
A: Beef Wellington, because you’re such a royal pain in the A– .  For
dessert there are cream puffs to match your bragging and coffee to
dissolve it.

Q: What’s for desert?
A: Chopped strawberries and whipped cream, because I’m beat and you broke my heart.

When your spouse leaves something in the oven or on the counter or in the frig, what then?
“There’s lasagna in the oven.  I have some filing to do and I’m working late at the office.”

Q: So, what’s for dinner?
A:  Steak and fries.  Steak because you’re gonna need it for your black eye, and fries, so you can stick them up your nose.

Q:  Are we gonna have dinner or what?
A:  It’s scrambled eggs and bacon buddy-boy!  You slept all day while I mowed the grass.  You want dinner, you’ll have to take us out!

Q:  What’s on the grill?
A:  Hot dogs, because your weenie is fried honey bunch!

Q:  Can we have crab-encrusted scotch eggs for brunch on Sunday?
A:  Only if that British Blondie comes over and makes them for you.
Q:  Can’t you try something new for a change?
A:  Still trying to make my kitchen a living hell, aren’t you!?

Q: What’s for dinner honey?
A: Why don’t you just open the frig,  gather a few items, and have yourself a feast.  You
haven’t been home the last three nights.

Read in a horoscope:  You need to be free from the parts of your mind that try to cook you.

Q:  Honey, the soups too hot!
A:  That’s because I’m boilng mad!

Q: Sweetie!  It smells terrible in the house!  Are we having fish again?
A: Darling!  If something smells fishy around here, it certainly isn’t my cooking!

Q: What’s for dessert?
A: Weren’t you supposed to pick something up after work?

Q: What is all that chocolate in the house for?  Boxes of chocolate in the living area,   chocolates in the bedroom, chocolates in the bathroom….what gives?
A: Well, my dear, since you’re so addicted to scotch, I thought I would become a chocoholic.
Q: But what about food on the table?
A: Chocolate is food.  Why, between your scotch and my chocolate I won’t have to cook!

Q:  My dear, this dish is too salty!
A:  Sorry! I didn’t feel like wiping my eyes.

Q: Turkey again?!
A: YUP! Every night, until you stop being such a turkey!
Q: Very funny dear!

Q: Same thing again?!
A: You have to use your imaginatin dear and think of something different.

Q:  I thought we were going to have a holiday dinner?
A:  That’s right!  We’re going on holiday and you’re buying me dinner.

Q:  Why are we having eggs for dinner?
A:  To keep up with the hatchery down at the office.

Q: Boy! Am I hungry! What’s for dinner?
A: We’re having Pot Roast.
Q: Again!  Why don’t you try reading a cook book?
A:  Well honey, I’m trying to tell you that your belly is too big.

Q: What’s for dessert?
A: Cake?
Q: Where’s the fork?
A: Well, you can’t have your cake and Edith, too.

Q: What’s for dinner?
A: Hamburgers and fries.
Q: Why?  We’re supposed to be celebrating my new job!
A: We are. You’re nothing but chopped patsy and small fries.

Q: Husband as he walks into the kitchen, “Something smells fishy!”
A:  You can say that again!   You’ve been late three nights in a row!

Q: Hi! Honey!  Why vegetables again?
A:  They add ambiance to the boredom around here.

Q:  What’s for dinner?
A:  It’s a secret.
Q:  Why is it a secret?
A:  Because I need for you to share a secret with me.
&:  I’m not telling you any secrets!
&:  Awe! Come on!  Tell me a naughty thing you did in high school.
&:  I played poker with my friends during study period.  So what’s for dinner?
A: Aha! O.K.  We’re having jubilee surprise for dessert.
&: Oh! Very funny!

s

Advertisements

About Sonja Bukvic

Single. I'm fascinated by the mind. I absolutely love humor. I have a B.A. in Enlish Literature from Fairfield University. When I found Word Press Free Blog I was excited and I'm so happy to share with you. I commune with the Creator and am allowed to share certain bits of enlightenment. You don't have to believe, but those with Faith, take it quietly and seriously.
This entry was posted in Humor and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s