When the saints and angels sing the blues, G-d tells them a joke.
G-d gave us laughter to heal our wounds.
If you can change just one human for the better, you have lived your worth.
BIG BANG THEORY: Let’s say there was non-substance. What if the most powerful in the universe is The Word. Non-subsatnce became extremely frustrated and out of nowhere is heard “BXSKLPHT”. Suddenly there was substance.
Beneath thine feet dwells a great being.
The way of the Lord is filled with nettles you yourself have created.
Dead people are lots of fun! They just smell bad and some are a big help.
G-d promised never to destroy the Earth. G-d never said anything about not destroying the world.
Everyone in Europe is a cousin unto themselves.
When you up someone with a smart answer show them your pinky.
New theory: The Egyptian Pyramids may have been built from the tip up-fulcrums and levitation. Or maybe not.
Love is never a fault, only a circumstance.
All pets are screwy.
Love Thai food = Thai food fever
There’s no such thing as “modern” medicine or “modern” science. There’s just PROGRESSIVE medicine and science.
Can I have a fat lady sing at my funeral? It’s not over till the fat lady sings.
Can’t Stand People Society. When they get together for their annual meeting they must surely require a huge space, because they need to sit far away from each other.
Carry a twig around with you and the next time someone says, “Give me a break!” whip out the twig and snap it in half.
There’s no reason humankind can’t live to be one hundred. We’re so busy dying we forget to live.
People that love each other have a tendency to hurt each other.
Which state in the United States is shared by everyone at the same time?
The State of Existence.
“I’m sorry!” But I’m not really sorry. You know what I mean? We’re so alike aren’t we? Interesting how apologies so often fall into the category of politeness. How does one tell when a person is really sorry or just saying it to be polite?
Have you ever thought of barking up a tree and wait for someone to come by and ask if you’re feeling alright and then you just say to them, “I must be barking up the wrong tree.”
Did you know that you can go to a dentist’s office and speak Latin?
Agrippa the chair.
People are one of the world’s smartest breeds.
When tears fall the soul is strengthened.
Nothing stays the same.
I don’t have a loving spouse to silence my lips with kisses.
I speak outloud to remain sane in the silence of the river choked with insanity flowing around me.
Take a friend or family member to the card shop while shopping and choose a card. Give them the card and say, “Read it now so I don’t have to buy it.” This method also saves time. The great thing of it is you’re both there in person and you don’t risk identity theft with a signature.
If everyone on Earth lost weight and we were all skinny, the Earth would probably speed up a little bit. Earth is slowing down because of weight, not age. Creation is adding weight.
If Julius Caesar had known that his conquests were not what would bring him fame, but his salad, he would have died on the spot and saved himself 46 stab wounds.
ZIZ=The Holy Spirit
The activity of matter is the very essence of its being. Atoms consist of particles. I believe that particles are material stuff. They form dynamic patterns, which may or may not be predictable in a dance of energy. Energy also has substance, we just can’t perceive it. When something takes up space it exists in time. The space-time reality have nothing to do with existential presence. The space-time character of material objects give them a place and a sequence.
“I jogged almost two leagues today.” Nobody uses leagues anymore. So much for Caesar!
1 league= 3.26261586 miles
G-d told Adam and Eve, “You can taste everything in the garden, but do not, under any circumstances, taste each other.” They disobeyed, and fell to a lower dimension. There must be a Garden of Eden, but not in our dimension; it’s probably way over our heads. We live in the same world, the same Earth, but there are different dimensions. Sex is “sin”. Adam and Eve sinned and fell away from G-d. Sex is a quick one-way ticket away from G-d’s presence. It is the pure of heart who see G-d. Those of us who lead good, sinless lives climb upward, towards a perfect life, to a life with no hardship and every need fulfilled. Those who are evil, those who sin, will keep dropping until eventually they perish. With each death, comes life. Where you end up is up to you.
It doesn’t take long to create a star, but to make life, such as we know it, sustainable on it.
Whatr you doing? Well, when I find out, I’ll tell you.
Wherv you been? You know, I keep asking myself the same question.
I’m sick and tired of the whole world; go spin without me. This might lead people to believe I’m an egotist, which I’m not. Spinning without me doesn’t mean you’ll spin around me. It just means I’m tuning out for now.
The mind is not accessible, only the brain. The mind is intelligence; it exists without formal activation. The brain needs to be activated.
Have you noticed? Scrubbing Bubbles have gone Negro.
I ate the partial cremated remains of quadro-peds and bi-peds for many years.
Sooner or later we all get white hair!
HEY!! Seen that “blender” commercial? Has it ever occurrred to those customers to put something in the blender and use it. It says on the sign, USE BLENDER FOR SERVICE.
If you need advice concerning a gift the best thing to do is ask a Greek, in my opinion.
Just because someone is sitting, space-gaping, or dawdling doesn’t mean they are imbeciles; they could be working on world problems.
Have you ever looked at “your stuff” and said, “the vestiges of my life.”
“Past the hour” used to mean that it’s later than your waking hour, which tells me that people used to sleep 12 hours.
Getting yelled at IS spending quality time with my family.
If the home environment would cut back on meat intake(carniverous behavior) and serve more vegetables, fruits, and grains, children would eat less fats and sugars and end up much thinner, on the whole.
Men and women are exactly the same, they just have a different creative process. Mankind initiated role playing.
Are you elderly? Are you “older”? Look at pictures of yourself when you were younger and get to know yourself all over again.
No man is perfect: his promises are.
How many of you have said, “Make me, make me do it,” as a response to a challenge, at least once?
Do unto thine self what you do unto your guests.
I’m trying to grab life before it runs away!
I’m guilty of the Human Race
Force yourself to do good things, tasks or words, for other people, anyone. Don’t give in to sloth.
When I keep my word I feel a lot more masculine.
Life is inter-dimensional. It is cubic and a lot more.
I have amounted to anything!!
I live in an ediface complex.
The future is a constant. It’s forever.
The loudest creature on Earth is a Pistol Shrimp. (Who WTBA Millionaire)
Men have andropause; women have menopause. Neither word has female roots.
Nobody knows everything. Even the “Know-it-alls” can tell you that.
Canabinoids do block pain signals.
Without knowledge there is no pain.
If you parents are really that paranoid and protective then have a chip put in your children and take it out when they turn 18.
Life doesn’t always pass out a fair deal, but what it does do is pass out a solid education.
“With Liberty or Death and Justice for all.” -Statue of Liberty
I know why my father had me educated.
So I would feel much less lonely.
Where were you when the lights go out?
LOGIC is the greatest tool we have to solving problems.
Have you ever tried barking back at your dog or your neighbor’s dog? Barking is GREAT! It will actually make you feel better. My father used to bark. It was hysterical, but what a great stress reliever.
I’m flat broke, almost to the dollar. Our grandparents used to say, “I don’t even have one penny!”
For Pete’s sake!
Who is Pete?
“Oh! For Pete’s sake!”
I always meet the person before I look at the person.
I try to do what my heart tells me. This keeps me happy about myself.
The road of life is scattered with many twinkles.
Amazing what we can accomplish in one lifetime, yet, it seems as if nothing was done.
Just because I say something, is it supposed to mean something?
I’m on an odyssey. I have to get off the island. (Manhattan)
Remember: There is always someone greater than thou and if there isn’t, then you are nothing.
How many more dimensions do I have to learn to live with?
The point is not to have fun, but to have happiness.
Scaring the hell out of people….Why don’t we do so more often?
I am grateful for
-the education I received
-the intricacies of the dance
-the beauty and variety of music
-the love of God shown to me throughout my Earthly life
-the beauty of creation
……all made possible by the auspices of my parents.
All I have learned and experienced in my life so far is for a greater purpose, which has not reached fulfillment.
God’s ways are a mystery until life chooses to reveal.
Have you had your share of bad smells?
Mockery has its own desserts.
Fireside chat – casual conversation between two people and lengthy pauses, basking in each other’s warmth.
Give yourself a pep talk!
Nobody loves me the most!
Friendship comes and goes, just like love, but acquaintances last forever.
Are you a head thumper? Come on! Give your skull a few knocks, just above the hairline, top of the head—most relaxing.
Cool to watch a surgeon physician operate on your body. Many surgeries have mirrored ceilings.
Power of Purity ****Think about it
Stop putting people in a nutshell. It doesn’t work. A person can’t all fit in a nutshell.
A lot of lives get hurt, because of false progression.
I thought I had rented a quiet apartment until I got my hearing aids, which, incidentally, my deaf mother paid for. God bless her!! Chen de un!
Thought waves shouldn’t always be questioned.
The TV program “WipeOut” uses tons of expressions.
Think of everything you love sometimes.
Love has caused miracles. Love is not a person.
Who knows everything!
It’s O.K. to play with people, but make sure they understand you’re playing with them.
It’s amazing how much of our lives are regulated by TV programming. We seem to live by an invisible clock. (eg: if I don’t watch the news I forget to call my mother.)
Og was the king of Bashan.
Do you enjoy walking with nuts? I sometimes take them with me and put them in my pocket. It’s good nutrition and they’re fun to chew.
Sometimes we have to sacrifice justice to save ourselves a lot of hassles.
Why do dogs sniff each other’s butts? To check out what they’ve been eating.
We all have memories that cause sweet pain.
I’ve got to stop thinking. It’s getting chronic.
You can fool everybody once and then they gain knowledge. You can’t fool them again with the same thing, unless they’re stupid.
The term ‘dumb Polack’ did not stem from the word stupidity. The meat-packing industry in Chicago employed Polish immigrants. When a worker was addressed, he wouldn’t answer, due to a lack of the English language, so the term ‘dumb Polack’ was coined for the workers who were silent.
Crime is expensive.
Cabbage creates happiness.
When you hear thunder, pay heed to G-d’s warning as to your plans. You will pay dearly for not obeying. The thunder isn’t always for the “other guy”.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Time has sped
I still think of you
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MICHAEL FLETCHER 10/31/2013
Thank you for being an angel. God love you.
Don’t preserve brain matter. It’s the mind that works the brain. Once the brain is inert, it won’t yield what the mind produced. The mind goes into continuance, not the brain. It’s like an old library or computer, once it shuts down, the books and data disappear.
If he could, my father(RIP) would celebrate his birthday all year long, but his wife(my mother) wouldn’t let him, but he got away with a weeks worth of celebrating. “Next week is my birthday!” he would announce and start celebrating. “Yesterday was my birthday!” he would say and celebrate some more.
“Poverty offers a man a golden opportunity for growth; riches may bring corruption and decay – not of the bank account, but of something far more lasting and important: the character, the soul, the spiritual self.” -R. Jonathan
“Let me seek you in desiring you and desire you in seeking you, find you in loving you and love you in finding you.” – St. Anselm on his feelings for the Almighty
I prayed to be ugly so I wouldn’t get sexually harassed. Guess what? No matter what you look like or how much money you have, there will always be someone to sexually harass you. I’m back to working on being attractive, but for G-d, not for mankind.
The higher up you go, the closer you are to the stars.
Your fallibility is very painful.
Don’t give in … GIVE OUT!
“The scriptures reassure us: let your understanding strengthen your patience. In serenity look forward to the joy that follows sadness. Hope leads you to that joy and love enkindles your zeal. The well-prepared mind forgets the suffering inflicted from without and glides eagerly to what it has contemplated within itself.” –Peter Damian
The world hasn’t changed much, just its Modus Operandi.
Where there is love, Life is so precious.
Hysterics – what about hersterics
The huge spot on Jupiter is a type of “nuclear” damage.
“A man must be strong enough to retain a proper sense of values in the face of affluence and overwhelming wealth.” -R. Jonathan
“You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” This second greatest suggestion does not have anything to do with sex!
It’s word interpretation that leads man astray.
I would be curious to know which American authors are read abroad in high schools and colleges.
Being an Olympian means you are a superior humanoid.
Movement is part of existence. Never stop EXCERCISING the privelege.
A man with knowledge who is dull is no fun at all. (dull=lack of empiricism)
G-d gave us tears so we could slake our thirst when the saliva runs out.
Gomorrah is still flickering.
In some cases, age is youth, like in a case of wine.
Those that are jealous have little love.
Those that are not jealous have big love.
A doctor’s kindness and warmth are worth more than a measure of medicine.
People who look out windows have clean windows.
A person who is born at night, early on, tends to like to stay up at night.
The penis that is recessed the most in the groin is closest to G-d.
You should adjust the way you think in order to change your mind set.
What happens when you have the urge and you succumb to sin? How does one stop oneself from fulfilling the strong desires of the flesh, when the groin yearns for the “wild” mate?
You didn’t tell me!
You didn’t ask me!!
Everything is possible, and I mean, everything. It is the opposing forces that make it impossible.
Why would one want to rattle around in an old castle? That’s for places without people.
Playing games with yourself are the best kind; you hardly ever know how they come out. We are our biggest fool. It’s like playing Chess with yourself; it’s the looser who wins. They get the most gifts from above, so don’t be a sore looser.
Truth can hurt, but it is the Lie that causes the most damage.
Patience is not just a virtue; patience is a way of life.
G-d help us all and the Lord, too.
Trash is such a waste! Why trash it! RECYCLE.
That which is bigger than thou cannot provide Jealousy, only Envy.
That cat should have been a dog! She’s such a bitch!
Finish this phrase: When the tough get going, the rough get …..
Always give and eventually you will always get.
There are two kinds of Franciscans:
Monks – monastic life where the nuns come in to wash the floors AND
Friars – monastic life with public access
Nobody loves me! Well, at least somebody does.
Falseness usually dissolves and only truth remains.
When someone starts looking like you, it’s time to start looking like them.
You wanna know how to be a better liar?
You tell the truth, because people don’t believe you anyway.
Your duration on this Earth is severely impaired.
I have curses on my head. How about you?
Don’t you just love people when they say, like, “Oh! She does it all the time!” and you did whatever, like, only once. I mean, Come On!
How many nuns on Earth smoke marijuana? I venture about 67.
Religion is just a subject without faith. Faith is more than religion.
The early Jews in our solar system were Orthodox. The women landed on Venus and the men on Mars.
Gathering knowledge is great, but harvesting it is more fun.
Please let me be a womb-man. I don’t want penis. Mankind, you are so confused.
Old saying: If your shoes squeak, they’re not paid for.
I don’t get it! Why do people want sex(sin) so much, when there is so much food on Earth? Of course, if you’re starving in some country, then you shouldn’t have either, or is it neither.
When you love in truth, there is no jealousy.
ACME match box cookies.
That cat should have been a dog, she’s such a bitch!
My friend Frank(RIP) said something to me a few times which is very wise….”You can fool some of the people some of the time, but you can’t fool all of the people all of the time.”
Blurt out at a meeting, “Who’s the stupidest man on Earth?” Chances are they will look at the head of state, the chairman of the board, the person who called the meeting, the teacher/professor. Need I go on…
Sometimes in our wanderings across the surface of this Earth we find a coin. It’s general knowledge that if the coin is tails up, you’re a fool. Well, here’s the good news: sometimes when it is tails up, it means that there will be stories(tales). If it’s an old coin, there will be old stories. If it’s a new coin, new stories.
Marijuana will sometimes give you a foresight of your future spiritual knowledge.
Imagine being a “Black Polack”! (double indemnity)
“…a man can possess knowledge without knowing that he does…” (Sigmund Freud)
What you loose when you have sex(sin) is far greater than what you gain. The perks are not worth it. Sex is a habit, an enticing one. Try to remember that “sin-eye” is quicker but not permanent, so ultimately not worth it.
Money is a big language.
I hoped at one time, when I was younger, to have cameras shoved in my face, instead I got a camera shoved up my butt. Recently, I gad a camera shoved down my throat.
(colonoscopy and endoscopy)
I have a make believe family; they’re not really there.
You can never love enough; you can never think enough.
What do “they” mean by “Free World”? I live in a restricted world.
To take a creatures physical life is murder; to take a creatures spiritual life is killing.