Great things about having a big stomach:
1) Your face is protected if you happen to slam into a wall.
2) You can see farther ahead.
3) When you lie on your stomach, your arms and legs are off the floor—-automatic push-ups.
4) You can keep people at a distance when conversing with them.
5) People will always leave food in the servers for you.
6) You never have to try on clothes; you go straight for the mega size.
7) You make thin people look emaciated.
8) People will pick up things that you drop.
9) Nobody expects you to run.
10) People will always scoot over for you without asking.
11) Have the store clerk in the fashion department measure your waistline just for fun.
12) People will think that you’re always hungry.
13) Pedestrians make way for you in a crowd.
14) Family members will always make sure you have enough to eat.
15) Pregnant women will be friendly.
16) At Thanksgiving, you’re the last one served. Everyone has helped themselves to what they want, now you can have the rest.
17) You’ll enjoy the chorus of groans when you walk into an “All You Can Eat” buffet style lunch.
18) You make a great pillow.
19) On the beach, your stomach gets sunburned first…..sizzle!
20) When you go camping, you get your own tent.
21) Insects have fun pretending your stomach is a mountain.
22) If you are a smoker, you keep the host and hostess happy, because your ash falls on your stomach.
23) Flotation is built in.
24) You are your own life preserver.
25.) You keep chaste and pure because you can’t see your genitals.
26.) You can tell people you are a disposal unit.