If you parents are really that paranoid and protective, then have a chip put in your children and have it taken out when they turn 18.
Teens need more sensitive parents. Don’t turn them off. They need to be independent but still attached to their parents. You are their security. Make sure you make your teens feel it; not with words, with gestures. Don’t go overboard with rules. Remember there are exceptions to every rule. Tell them this straight out. The exceptions need to be discussed. Don’t argue with your teen-ager, let them argue with you. No screaming matches. Try to control your outbursts. Walk away. Say, “I need to talk to you when I calm down.” A cup of coffee, tea, a soda, a snack during discussion helps. As they experience more of life, start modifying the rules, throw some out and add others. Also ask your teen to seek forgiveness, not to be afraid. Don’t turn away, don’t turn off your teen. Open arm policy, even if it isn’t the warmest hug.
If you have a child that likes to stomp their feet, here’s what you do. Take their shoes and socks off and have them stomp barefoot. Make them stomp as hard as possible.
Do you have a child that likes to kick, especially you? Here’s what you do. Wait for an appropriate occasion (this method of cessation does not opportune on each occasion), then pull the handy piece of wooden board or some other handy HARD, FLAT surface and have them kick that. Do not inspect for broken toes. Walk away.
Is your child’s room a mess? Try some positive tactics. The negative approach can be nagging. Make comments like, “If the government sees this room it will become a nuclear hazard.” ” World War seems inevitable.” “My financial support is getting smaller and smaller.” “It would be in your best interest, not mine, to pick up your room.”
Do you ever feel like spanking your child, but are afraid he/she will call the police? Here’s what you do. Sit down in a chair or on the couch and have the child stand in front of you and tell them they’re in for the whupping of their life. Take a pillow and spank the pillow while watching their face with an angry expression. If they cry, it’s a success. If they laugh, grab a book and have them read out loud for ten minutes. If they are pre-school, have them talk about what they did to their favorite toy and listen in and vigorously nod your head if you agree with what they are saying. If you don’t agree, shake your head no and say “tsk, tsk, tsk.”
If you need to punish your child:
-shine the family shoes
-polish the silverware
-clean the windows in the automobile
-wash out the garbage cans
-pulling weeds (the whole root, not just the tops)
-clean the toilet/toilets
-dust the books
-instead of just punishment, give your child a choice, but they have to do something outrageous…..like stand on one foot and recite the Pledge of Allegiance and if the foot touches the ground, the option is cancelled.
Have a “CONFESSION” session with your kids, one on one or in a group. a “Let’s be honest with each other about one thing.” You tell your kid something you involved them in that wasn’t good for them and apologize. Then have your kid tell you something they have done which you would be ashamed of.
Listen to your child’s logic. He/she is more honest in their thinking than you are; they’re not as inundated. For example, get your child’s idea on “dirt”.
Don’t be afraid to play pretend. Kids love pretending and the stimulation for creative thinking improves their cognitive skills.
Tell your children that you will answer all their questions. -DON’T STOP THEM ONCE THEY’VE STARTED. – If you don’t know the answer, tell your child. “I don’t have the knowledge to answer that, but I’ll try and find out when I have the time.”
If you have tough kids to deal with, change your role occasionally and become not a parent, but a sergeant. Have your kids address you as Yes Mam! or Yes Sir!/No Mam or No Sir. After they have conformed to your requests, soften up and treat them to something. Say to them, “I’m your Mom/Dad and I love you, but sometimes we have to get military around here. Agreed?”
Beware when children answer your question with, “Nothing.” “Awe, nothing.”
You can be sure there’s something afoot. Under any circumstances do not force them to fess up. This type of needling will only make things worse. Instead say something like, “Are you sure there’s nothing wrong?” “You don’t want to tell me, do you?” “Is the ‘nothing’ something bad/good?” “Well, look, I’ll just walk away and maybe I’ll find out later.” “Nothing has a lot of stough in it. Well! When you figure out what this ‘nothing’ is, will you let me know and satisfy my curiosity? I’m dying to know!”
As soon as your children turn seven(7) years old, make sure they have money($$$) in their pockets. Depending on your income and household expenses space their “allowance” accordingly. Some parents might only afford a monthly, some bi-monthly, some weekly. If you give them $1.00 a week and they save it all, they will have $52.00 by the year-end cycle. Teach them how to keep track of their money. Get a little notebook and make columns. DATE RECEIVED/INCOME/DEBIT/BALANCE. Eventually they can have a column for ITEM which entails where or who they got the money from and what they spent it on. They can keep it anywhere they choose. May I suggest an envelope, a box, a sock, or even their underwear drawer. DO NOT check-up on their money. DO NOT give them more. An increase should be on a yearly basis and chores can get paid separately. Use your own judgement. It’s none of your business how much “grandma” gives them. They may willingly share their source of income if you leave them alone. Don’t forget, they might be saving up to buy you a present. Once they hit eighteen(18), they’re on their own, allowance gets cut, BUT DO PAY THEM FOR ODD JOBS. Remind them NOT to flash their money around.
When they’re seven years old they have to start making their own beds in the morning. On Saturdays they should take turns making up their parents’ bed and changing sheets if necessary. Also start the 7 year old on dusting furniture Saturday mornings. By all means show them how!!
Do you have a bad mouth kid?
Put a dab of toothpaste on their tongue or make them gargle with Listerine. Tell them, “Your little big filthy mouth is not acceptable around here! March! To the bathroom!”
Toothpaste is good for digestion. Make them hold the mouth wash in their mouth. If they spit it out to soon, another mouthful till the bad words burn off their tongue.
NOW, if they are chronic, by all means get the hot sauce out!!
Use “LOGIC” on your children. You will get better results. The best logistics don’t come from scientists and mathematicians, but from children. We are all born with natural logic and deductive reasoning, a mind uncluttered with information. As knowledge grows, deductive reasoning becomes less pure and relies on accumulated information rather than natural logic.
TELL your children, “Don’t interrupt, wait till I’m done saying what I have to say, then you can have a say.” We all do this as adults, interrupt. I’m a chronic interrupter. I forget what I want to say if I wait for the person to stop speaking, which is elite manners. You need to train at an early age, so you learn to retain your thoughts till it’s your turn to speak. Conditioning oneself is difficult and, well, we all have ‘important’ things to contribute or argue. Keep trying. Train your children. O.K.?
No generation on Earth is more understanding than a child.
CASH to ASH to SH. If your teenagers say Cash-ash-sh, it means they burned your money.
If children like your suggestion, they will use it, so be careful when you jest.
When your child craves sweets, start them off with something spicy and then go to something sweet if they hedge. Many times a child just wants to titillate their taste buds. Stay away from hard candy and if you are a hard candy family, may I suggest holding it under the tongue. Do not hold it in your cheeks because that will increase decay to the molars.
Husband to wife:
“May I have the rod, please. It’s your turn to spoil the child.”
Set up a general, weekly schedule with your child that you can hang on the wall near their study area or near their bed. Make sure you incorporate school homework and study time, time for domestic chores, times of nourishment, bath times, pleasure time, and family time.
Do you have problems getting your child to eat vegetables. Tell them to hold their nose and swallow.
I would like to address the subject of FLOGGING. I approve of this method for severe cases. Have your “problem” dance a couple of circles around you and let go.
*Do not lock your child in their room or anywhere else. Children should not be allowed to lock their rooms till they are 13, when they reach early adulthood. Use a signal, like a tag, red for “Please don’t come in”…..yellow for “Enter with caution”….green for “Come on in” and blue for “I’m depressed or in a bad mood and don’t want to talk right now”. Do not allow the “negative” signs for any length of time. Give them space, but let them know they can’t have this signal go on and on.
*Your child may be cooking up a surprise for you, so don’t spoil it. Always knock on a closed door. You can “room arrest” your child and not allow them to exit for a specific amount of time unless they have to go to the bathroom.
*Do not stop little boys from crying. It is extremely unhealthy and could cause neurosis later in life. When the time comes they will control it on their own. When a man tears up, consider it a sign of respect.
*When your “little man” cries you can make a comment like, “Are you crying because of pain or because your dignity was hurt?” Explain what “dignity” means. As they grow their “dignity” will strengthen and mature and the tears will subside.
(dignity = “You think I don’t respect you. I knocked you off your throne and now you’re hurt. Your “ego” has been taken down a peg and your little manhood is insulted.”)
Ask your son or daughter to try to understand what they did wrong and why the discipline was necessary. “Did you do this before? Have I reacted in such a way till now? Don’t you think it’s time now for a harsher reminder? Let’s not do this again, shall we?”
*When punishing your child, always start small and then build with each subsequent repetition. Children are smart and they will “play” you. FLOGGING works well on small children, but when they reach 13, STOP!! It’s best for your offspring to choose their own punishment and have you agree, rather than dole it out. Toddlers should not be FLOGGED. A stern voice/a twist of the ear/a swap behind the head/a small whack on the behind…..By age 4 they should be disciplined to your requests of behavior and house rules. REMEMBER-FLOGGING is a last resort! Use intelligent punishment first. Newborns, up to age 1 should not be touched in any type of violent manner, but talked to soothingly and lovingly and will understand that you are upset with their behavior. You’ll be surprised at how well a newborn understands.(They are still pretty close to the Creator.) Well! That’s it for now. I know how hard it is to control temper, especially if you have had a bad day. If you do loose control and go overboard…PLEASE! PLEASE! PLEASE! apologize to your child and let them in on what is bothering you, as to why you lost control. Make sure they understand it had nothing to do with what they did. You might even have fun punishing each other and end up being great friends!!
Do you have a child that cries too much when they’re stubborn? Tell them, “Go ahead and cry, you won’t have to pee as much.”
If your child is scared or frightened of something, some person, or some animal, just pluck up and say, “It’s just visiting from outer space.”
Like all moms and dads, it is difficult sometimes to get your child to eat the healthy food on their plate. Ask them to hold their nose, shovel it in, chew, and swallow. This has about a 50% success rate. The other tactic is bribery. Offer a special dessert, something different from what’s on the menu.-it works great or no dessert. A great enticement is, “You’ll get to stay up an extra half hour or hour, if you finish the food on your plate.” Occasionally , a parent will pile on too much food or make the plate look unappetizing. Offer to remove some of this “horrible” food or ask them, “Show me how much of this “whatever it is” are you willing to eat for your health?”
CAN”T GET YOUR CHILDREN OUT OF BED?
1. Remove their covers
2. Put an ice cube behing their ear.
3. Scrape their feet with a hairbrush.
4. Tell them you’re hiding their homework.
5. Remove their pillow from under their head and slam it on their face.
6. Buy a trumpet and blow revelry.
7. Use a Chinese gong – DO NOT USE pots and pans; this creates negative psychology.
If your children lock their doors, install a doorbell.
If they have a Cell Phone and don’t use the alarm program to get up, take away the Cell Phone.
Are your child’s feet growing too quickly for your budget? Try buying a good pair of sandals. Sandals can be worn half to a whole size larger. When it is cold a thick pair of socks provides plenty of warmth. If other children make fun of them, emphasize to your child that you run one smart household and can save money for things other children’s families will never be able to afford because they throw money out needlessly. Make sure the sandals are made with an ankle type wrap strap. Buying flip/flop type sandals is throwing out money. Get a pair of synthetics for a dollar at Walmart or the dollar store.
Spend some “QUALITY” time with your children, no matter what age.
You work hard all week? You don’t feel like it? You’re tired? You don’t want to deal with it? Your child isn’t the “right” gender. You’re not into “children’s” games? ETC>>>>
Listen buddy-boy; I’ve had enough excuses buster! It’s very simple…..look for yourselves in your children and get to know yourself better.
Pull between one and four hours out of your hat every weekend or every other weekend and force yourself to make this “time” time with your children. Don’t know what to do? You end up with sports games and fast food places? Put yourself in your child’s place and ask yourself what you would enjoy doing with the time and then do it, even if it doesn’t seem appropriate “kid stough”. Get your child involved with your yard work, carpentry, cooking, even making a shopping list. Board games are always fun, so are card games, but not all the time. Watching TV together is always a pleasure. Choose a program together or “shoot” for it. Maybe your child doesn’t like “picking up” their room. Do the task together and maybe you can come up with ideas that will keep room order more efficient, less time consuming and more fun. Are you catching my drift? Quality time does not always mean fun and games.
TROUBLE GETTING TO KEEP THEIR ROOM IN ORDER?
Stop harassing your child about it; it just makes things worse. Try a reward program. For example you can hide coins in strategic places and voila suddenly things are flying into their correct places. Always compliment their work even if it’s an “eye roller”. Make subtle, gentle suggestions.
If everything fails and they stubbornly refuse to “pick up” their room, lock them out of their room. Either turn the doorknob around, get a keyed entry, or padlock the door. They have to promise to keep the room clean or they loose it. It’s a disaster area and off limits to everyone in the house! Make them beg for their room and then give them a reasonable time slot to clean up or else. They have to sleep on the couch and live out of a suitcase. Most important no sleeping in the morning when the first person wakes up.
DOES YOUR CHILD FALL ASLEEP IN SCHOOL?
If your child falls asleep in school in the morning, cut out the milk at breakfast and substitute juice instead. In winter hot cider or hot apple juice is nice for breakfast. Half a muffin or a piece of toast with butter is enough. Don’t load your child down at breakfast time or she/he won’t eat a hearty lunch. Liquid intake is more important in the morning than solid food. A health drink is great, if you can afford it. DO NOT START YOUR CHILD ON COFFEE! NYET! No good! Use coffee only as a treat once in awhile, like when you’re going on a long trip or vacation.
One more thing: When you use the bathroom at night look in on your child to see if they are asleep. Insomnia can cause dozing in school. There should be no high gear mental activities at least one hour before bedtime. A mug of warm milk is a great sleeping aid and also calms the mind.